Summer Fun 5/28/00

Chances are most of you are rushing out to the malls in an attempt to to have people ooh, and aah at your summer fashion sense. Well don’t waste your time there. Have fun!

  • film your own “Friends” opening credits in the fountain.
  • Rush up to someone wearing a sports Jersey and demand an autograph. remark how different they look in person.
  • stand outside the movie theater polling people in line on how they like the endings of the big movies. if they have not seen them yet, then tell them how it ends so you can get their opinion. if they complain, tell them it will be your ass if this clipboard is not finished by noon. ignore their attempts to convince you that it is after noon and that you are not holding a clipboard.
  • Walk everywhere crouching. Claim you’ve got scurvy and try to buy vitamin C from everybody you pass. tell them the metabolife cart did not have any.
  • Offer stupid money exchanges. Ask to trade eight dimes for one dollar. if they refuse call them racist.

– Robert “I’m out of order? no, YOU are out of order. the whole stinking food court is out of order!” Morrison

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