Summer Fun – Special Web2K Edition

Two Games you can play on the Internet.

Well I used the old synapse and figured that if you are reading this you must have web access (This is a special edition of Summer fun that will not be in the weekly print distribution). And after all i always have to make my fun accessible to you, the viewer, because that is who i care about. Also to make up for the fact that this one made it in only barely by the end of the week, (and the smart money is on me not being able to send one from New York next week) this has two separate activities. Well, unless you can’t find anyone to play with you, in that case only the first game will be accessible to you, the viewer (the person i care about).

First up: Ebay Super fun semi-sexual partialy-pornographic entirely subjective, non-scored fun (or “Platypus” as the kids call it.)

INSTRUCTIONS: Simply go to E-bay and seek out an auction, any auction. Now look at the list of bidders (or even use the seller) and click on the number in parentheses next to their user names. This should take you to their user comment list. The user comment list allows other E-bay users to leave both positive and negative feedback comments about a specific user. Most of the comments will deal with a transaction and are often terse one-line descriptions. This is where the game’s magic lies. The vagueness offered by most comments lets you pretend that what was sold was “sex.” That’s right! Just pretend that the two E-bay users were involved in buying/selling sex! That innocuous comment that reads, “Transaction went quickly and smoothly, the way I like it,” now sound naughty and will make you giggle like a schoolgirl. The comment, “Product was of high quality and cost me so little,” now reminds you of the prom date who slept with you after you two feasted on free food samples at Costco Price Club for dinner. For those of you E-bay frequenters, you can even use the user search to play with yourself. Or you can play by searching the user names of close friends and relatives, which will provide for even more entertainment, because you’re guaranteed at least one in-joke from the comments. Another part of this game’s magic is the versatility. The use of “sex” was chosen by Bob’s Summer Fun because the team just got some from Vale last night, but you can easily vary the item that was sold. You could easily say the item sold was child pornography, drugs/drug paraphernalia, US nuclear secrets, whores, information on Barkley Forum members, souls, the office of the President, anything you want! That’s where the promise of limitless fun comes from, because it’s all about your imagination. We’re empowering you, because you are the viewer, and that’s who we care about.

ESTIMATED TIME FOR COMPLETION: As long as you want, but HGI studies indicate that enjoyment time varies inversely with the IQ of the participants.

Part Two: IT’s Internet SMACKDOWN!

Involving blatant theft from the ZDtv IT, the wonderful collaboration of Micala, scott, and Guru. The show shows how useful showing can be as well as showing that showing what is in you does not always make for a good show.

INSTRUCTIONS: First, you need to open up as many web browser windows as people who will be playing the game, if you’re only going to use one computer. Now, send the browsers to the bestest search engine EVER, Google. Once there, have a person not playing the game, we’ll call him the geeky gamemaster, give a random word that s/he’s thinking of. The competition begins because now you and the people you’re playing against have to come up with an item, name, phrase, etc. that contains the geeky gamemaster’s word. No two players can have the same item, name, phrase, etc., so it’s best for all of you to yell out your item, name, phrase, etc. the instant you come up with one. Yes, yes, you’re asking, ?Why do I want to come up with an item, name, phrase, etc.?? Well, calm down, we’re getting there. In fact, we’re there right now, because you’re trying to choose an item, name, phrase, etc. using the geeky gamemaster’s word that will give you the most found items in a Google search. You must SMACKDOWN the other players, hard, using the Internet. So, let’s say Philip Richardson (BSF VP in charge of Crown Royal and Coke supply) and I are playing this fabulous game and Max Planck comes along with the special word, ?Pam.? I choose ?Pam non-stick spray,? and Philip chooses ?Pam Anderson.? In this battle, Philip would win because ?Pam non-stick spray? only has 1,178 items, whereas ?Pam Anderson? has 95,800 items. It’s fun, isn’t it?! And you can play over and over and over and over again until your fingers bleed and your brain melts! And that is what Bob’s Summer fun is all about (or it might have had something to do with lime sorbet, I’ll have to check the first one). We want you, the viewer’s brain to melt, because you’re who we care about.

ESTIMATED TIME FOR COMPLETION: As with the last game, as long as you want, but HGI studies indicate that enjoyment time varies inversely with the IQ of the participants and more is always merrier. Also, the more competitive with name calling you get and the naughtier the magic word is, the better the game gets.

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