Well then. That settles that age old battle.
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I was flipping through a copy of Sports Illustrated while waiting to get a haircut, and I read an article about sports team mascots, like the San Diego Chicken and the Phillies Phanatic. Apparently, these folks get paid quite a bit to don furry, huge-headed costumes and run around the stadium, annoying fans, players, and officials, and I thought, hey, why not me? I’m small enough for the costumes, and I often embarrass myself in public anyway. This way, I’ll be getting paid, plus no one will be able to tell it’s me.
Then I remembered: I’ve already done it. Sort of.